The Best Way To Cure A Bad Day
by bloodsucking vampire girl
Summary: Snape is having a bad day so he decides to do the thing he loves best: taking points from Gryffindor. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for having a name that rhymes with bean - I HATE beans!"


Snape scowled as he walked into the classroom.

He was having a bad day.

It had all started that morning when he had been woken at four a.m by that annoying house elf...Doobey or Dobbels or something on those lines...who had started to rant to him about something on the lines of 'potions' and 'destroyed' and 'so sorry.'

Those words had been enough to send Snape into panic mode.

After a bit of weaseling the elf had admitted to destroying one of the shelves in his potions cupboard while cleaning, therefore destroying all the potions on said shelf. Snape had rushed down to see to the mess - and had found out that one of the potions that had been crushed had been the one he had spent nearly an entire painstaking day working on.

Needless to say he did _not _want to be teaching a bunch of bratty students right now.

Snape stormed over to his desk, all the while glaring at the pesky nuisances that were his students. He felt anger and hatred boil up inside him when he spotted Harry Potter, sitting next to his faithful red-headed sidekick and pet beaver.

Snape grounded his teeth together when Harry began to laugh at something Weasley had said. Fury writhed inside him...right now he was imagining James Potter, laughing his head off while jinxing him. His hand twitched as did his eye. Oh how he loathed Potter...

"Five points from Gryffindor for laughing!" he yelled. Harry shut up. Snape smiled. _Perfect._

Walking to the front of the classroom he called for attention and began explaining the lesson. However, half way through his explanation, irritation filled him. How _dare _those students stare at him so intently? Clearly they were mocking him!

"A point from Gryffindor from each off you for staring!" he roared. His precious Slytherin's had nothing to do with this...they would never dream of mocking him...

"Another point off from each of you Gryffindor's for not listening to my orders and ceasing your incessant staring!"

The Gryffindor's scowled, obviously angry about his treatment. Snape smirked. He loved riling those stupid lions up...

The lesson continued on, with the students all working hard on their potions. Snape scowled...they were obviously faking. No Gryffindor could take an interest in potions...

Purposely striding forward, he glanced at each Gryffindor's potion, gritting his teeth when he found nothing wrong with the first few. Then he got to Weasley's and he did a little dance inside his mind...

"Weasley! Take ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Why?" Ron asked, clearly baffled.

"Your potion is clearly one shade lighter than I had asked!" Snape snapped. A snicker from behind him made him whirl around.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Finnigan, for laughing!"

Seamus stopped abruptly. Snape let his eyes wonder over to Dean, who was sitting next to Seamus and his lip curled in disgust when he saw the boy looking at him with a stupid mocking glint in his eye, clearly angry about how he had treated his friend...

..."Thomas! Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snape roared.

"What the hell did I do?" Dean asked, incredulously.

"You had a mocking glint in your eyes! And another two points for saying 'hell!'"

Dean gaped.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor. Mr. Thomas, keep this up much longer and you'll be getting detention!"

"I have no idea what I did!" Dean protested.

"You gaped at me - _no one _gapes at me!" Snape growled. Then after a moment he added: "Twenty points from Gryffindor for having a name that rhymes with 'bean' - I HATE beans."

"Snape's insane" Ron whispered. Snape whirled around.

"Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Sir, I don't think -" Hermione started but Snape cut her off with a furious yell.

"Five points from Gryffindor!"

"Snape! This is crazy, you can't do this!" Harry protested.

"That's 'Professor Snape' to you Potter! Fifeteen points from Gryffindor! And another ten for being famous!" Snape's face was red with rage.

"That's not fair! You can't take points for being _famous!" _Ron protested.

"Eighteen points for being the youngest male in your family and another eighteen for constantly complaining about it!"

Ron's (as well as nearly everyone elses) jaw dropped open.

"No way" he said, shaking his head. "You _can't _be allowed to do that."

"Five points for underestimating my abilities" Snape answered back, coolly.

The bell rang. Sighs of relief sounded around the classroom.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for sighing."

The sighs turned into grumbles.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for grumbling."

He was met with silence.

"Another twenty points from Gryffindor for being too quiet."

"THIS IS MAD!" roared Ron. Harry nodded his head furiously while Hermione simply glared at the professor (did the surprises never cease?)

"Everyone may go" Snape said, calmly walking to his desk.

Everyone gathered their things and hurried to the door before Snape could take away any more points. Before they could make it, Snape looked up and said in a calm voice:

"One hundred points from Gryffindor for being Gryffindors."

When they were gone, Snape smirked. His day was looking up after all.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed that. Just a little idea I had...I know Snape was a little over-the-top here but hey, this _is _a crackfic right?**

**Review and tell me what you think.**

**XOXO - Natalie**


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